I let It Go, Almost
by Singing-Love-Songs-In-The-Rain
Summary: "I was drowning, but it felt like an invitation. To let go. To be free. To live with no regrets. But I wasn't living, I was dying. " She almost let it go. Almost. Rated T. Enjoy!


I Let It Go…. Almost

I woke up surrounded by the refreshing scent of lilies. My favorite flower. I let myself fall. But once I hit the ground, a wave of… death….. flashed over me. I looked to my side and saw the lilies at my side, laying there, lifeless, black and wilted. My light brown locks were dark black and tangled down at my arms. I felt myself lift off the ground. As if being carried. I let my eyes close and open again. An icy blue covered my vision. And I fell. A shadow hovered above me, and all I could make out was his icy blue eyes. And I fell again. This time, into an ocean, an ocean the color of those eyes. An ocean colder than those eyes.

I was drowning, but it felt like an invitation. To let go. To be free. To live with no regrets.

But I wasn't living, I was dying.

I felt free. And it felt good. But it felt empty. It was hollow, like something was missing. My translucent body flew through the air, until landing with thud. I expected pain, but it never came. Then I realized, I was no longer living or I was unconscious, my brain making the decision to go, to be free, but my heart telling me there is something to live for. _Someone _to live for.

As if on cue. His face was right next to mine. Hardly a centimeter away. His cold breath lingered on my lips. His hands lay on my shoulders, gripping them tightly. He isn't talking but I know what he's saying.

_Don't give up, don't let go. _

_I don't want to, but what left for me to hold on to? _

_Me, I will always be your ledge, don't give up on me. Please. _

_I have to, there's nothing that you can do. I'm worthless. I have nothing to stay for. _

_Maybe not, but you have someone to hold on for. You have me. _

_Why should I stay for you Fabian?_

_Because I love you Nina, and if you let go, no one can stop me from joining you. _

_You're lying. _

_Let me prove it to you. _

He leaned in for a kiss. At first, I didn't do anything. I stood there like a statue. But then I remembered his rhythm, the way his lips moved, and the way we would be in synch. Slowly, I reciprocated his every move. When his tongue asked for permission to enter me mouth, I gladly accepted.

It felt magical. A new kind of free.

He let me go, and the freedom was gone. I was trapped between two worlds. My former friends pleaded with me at my bedside. Fabian was on the floor surrounded by his blood. When I turned to the side, there he was, smiling at me.

_I told you I would always be here. Your mine and I'm yours. _

I didn't respond. He let go for me. He lost what loved to be with who he loved. I wanted nothing more than that but it was wrong to take his life.

_Fabian, I love you, but you have to live. You have to sta_y….. It pains me to say it, but I can't let him die because of me.

_Were not dead, were simply in between. I will die with you and I will live with you. But look at them. They want us to stay, they want you to stay. It doesn't where you go, I will find you. I will follow you. _

_I'll go home. I will be with you_

And my decision was made. I work up seconds later, gasping for air. I looked around. Fabian was right next to me. My friends were overjoyed. I felt safe. I was where I needed to be. I was home.

* * *

"I'm done! I cried victoriously. Fabian walked over to putting his hand on mine. "Finally, I was starting to get jealous of your laptop." He laughed and bent over to kiss me. "Ah, coffee mouth." He groaned and settled himself on the arm of the couch. "You've already lived it. I don't think you need to read it." I wrote the story of high school with a minor tweaks to make sure I didn't get anyone killed. I mean a lot of people know this is true chizz. "Yeah but I'm pretty sure you made me look like a jackass, so I still wanna read."

I shook my head and stalked over to him. Despite his disgusting coffee taste, I kissed him lovingly before going to shower. But before I did I looked back on my life.

I have everything I could possibly want. Love. Happiness. And Fabian. I took a look at my engagement ring. Everything was perfect.

**A/n: Loved it, hated it, tell me. Prompts maybe? I don't know. But um, say something. Cookie out!**


End file.
